Freak
by jmandina
Summary: Always watch what you say.


"God Raven why do you have to be such a bitch?"

His harsh words didn't even effect her any longer. She was called that ignorant word a million times, what was another? "I guess that's just how I am." her voice replied in monotone. Her mind was on autopilot, just like it did every time her and the green Titan fought. He would call her names and say things that he thought hurt her and she would just try to tune him out or retort against his harsh words.

"I don't understand why you have to kill everyone's fun. Just because you can't enjoy yourself doesn't mean we cant!" He screamed as he looked down at her. In his hand was the cord to his game system that her powers had spliced in half. It really was an accident, but there was no telling that to him. His body was in overdrive and he was lashing out accordingly. It took all of her strength to keep her face emotionless as she received punishment for her mistake. The other Titans only watched on, just like any other normal Tuesday.

"Ya well there's a lot you don't understand. You're tiny brain doesn't comprehend things like the rest of us." She finally bit back. Fire built up in his eyes as he stared her down. She only wished that he hadn't hit his growth spirt, with him over six feet he had to lean down just to speak to her. It was intimidating to say the least, but she knew that she needed to hold her ground with him. Eventually he would see it her way, or the fight would be put to a stop by their leader if it crossed over the line. That's how their friendship was now. There was peaceful moments, but lately they were clashing heads more and more and her haywire magic didn't help anything.

She didn't know what was going on. It started right after Tokyo, Star and Robin started their relationship and Cyborg and Bee started theirs. Beast Boy sprouted like a bean stock and began on the normal road towards manhood. Hormones and all. The only difference is he used many girls to satisfy his needs rather than just one. Things were just different, and she was having a hard time adjusting. A week ago her powers started having outbursts, she tried meditating but all it did was confuse her. It was like every time the green Titan spoke of his sexual conquests her powers would lash out at whatever was around. It was beginning to be too much for the goth. She knew that she needed to get things under control soon.

"Oh and you would know about doing things like a normal person?" he hissed back "I bey you don't even know what it feels like to be normal!" She flinched slightly at his words but didn't sway. He had a point, she didn't know what it was like to be normal. She never has, she is Raven for gods sake.

"Okay that's enough B." Cyborg yelled from the couch. "I think it was an accident anyways. I have another cord in my room so there's no need to fight." Raven's heart rate slowed at the sound of her big bothers defense. He was the only one who noticed that something was off with her, although he never said anything she could feel his emotions. Most promote was worry.

"No there's no way _this_ " he pointed to the slashed cord, "was an accident. She meant to do it!"

Although she tried to remain calm it was hard, the grass stain had a way of getting under her skin. She could feel her hands shake and she tried to hide it under her cloak, the lights flickered above her as she closed her eyes and replied, "And why, pray tell, would I do that on purpose?"

"Who knows! Why did you explode the toaster? Or break the treadmill in the gym?" He yelled in response, she opened her eyes just in time to see him throw the cord on the ground and point a finger in her direction. "I don't know what it is, but I swear you're doing it just to piss me off!"

She couldn't help but snort at his comment. Him. He thought she was doing it to piss him off? If anything she destroyed all those things just to piss herself off, at least that's what it felt like. Ever broken possession earned a speech from Robin, questions from Star, concern from Cyborg and an argument from Beast Boy. If she could stop breaking things then she would, but she couldn't. Which brought her to this.

"Don't flatter yourself." She bit.

She could see his clenched fists from where she was, his breathing was ragged and he shifted his weight from one foot to another. He was fumed, deep down she felt bad. She felt bad for her accidental outburst but she couldn't bring herself to admit to him that she was having problems with her powers. She knew that taking verbal abuse from him was easier than then bearing the emotional turmoil from her team if the truth came out.

"I'm so sick an tired of you. All you do is wreck things and then hide in your room. Just because you don't have anything better to do doesn't mean that you have to be such a-a-" he stumbled over his words as if unsure what adjective to say.

"A what? Bitch. You've already used that one in this argument, I know you have a limited vocabulary but come on." Rude, she knew but it just came out like it always did. If avoiding the stupid card with him was easy then everyone would do it. She knew how it hurt him, but it was just an easy win for her.

"Fine." he growled. "Stop being such a fucking freak."

There was a popping sound when the generator box burst along with the control panel on the computer. The windows cracked down the middle and a crash came from the kitchen as the microwave exploded . The team was engulfed in pure darkness and there was a scream from Starfire. Raven's body shook as hot tears began to run down her face, he chest heaved uncontrollably as he lungs begged for more air. She squeezed her eyes shut and her hands shot to her face once a light whimper escaped her lips. His choice word replayed over and over in her head.

 _Freak. Freak. Freak._

There was a light pressure on her shoulder and she attempted to pull away from the unknown persons touch. "Raven." Beast Boy's hushed voice rang in her ears. As soon as she realized who it was her sobs got stronger. Of course it would be him, she had forgotten he could see in the dark. "Raven, I'm so so-"

"Here's the back up generator switch!" Cyborg's voice called from across the room. Before he could turn the lights back on Raven focused her energy to teleport. She needed to get out of there, and fast.

"Azarath Metrion Zenthos." She whispered to herself. In an instant her world became darker and she allowed the tingling sensation of her magic take over. Just before she was competency gone she heard Beast Boy's quiet whine.

 _Freak. Freak. Freak._

She crashed onto her floor in an instant. Tears still fell from her face and stained her carpet. A typhoon soon erupted inside of the small room as her powers demanded to be seen. She moved her knees to her chest in an attempt to calm herself forcing her hands covered her ears and her body began to rock back and forth. "It's okay." she said in hopes to sooth herself, "Calm down."

She felt like a fool, how could she had let him get to her like this? It's not like she hadn't been called a freak before, hell civilians said it all the time. Why was this so different?

Why?

Then it dawned on her. It was it came from him. Her friend, her team mate. He wasn't suppose to think she was a freak, he's suppose to understand. Even when they were at their worst he had never made her feel so inferior. Her chest felt as if someone had blasted a hole right through it. Raven was in pain, pure emotional pain. And she hated it.

More than anything she wanted to go back into the front room and make him pay. Make him pay for all of the heartache he was causing her, for creating this whole that she had in her chest but in a way her mind kept her there. Even if she did go back out there all it would cause is more problems, and that was the last thing she needed. No, what she needed was peace. Peace from her own powers and emotions. Something drastic needed to change, and if it didn't happenn soon then who knows what havoc she could cause without even trying.

Raven's sobs began to die down as her chest began to rise and fall at a more steady rate forcing her room to revert back to normal. Before she had enough time to accumulate a second thought, there was a light knock at her door. Her telepathy had a hard time pinpointing who was on the other side, the confusion mixture of emotions on the other made her believe that it could honestly be anyone. After a much needed long pause Raven's lungs drew in a deep breath as she opened the door as she pulled her hood back up covering sadden face.

As soon as the doors opened Raven was met with a rush of emotions, so much so that she felt sick to her stomach. Once her eyes adjusted she was met with green orbs of concern. Anger began to boil over as her visitors lasts words range in her ears.

 _Freak. Freak. Freak._

"Raven." he finally managed to breath after a long pause between them. His emotions were almost too much for her to bare. His remorse mixed with concern and lingering anger made her feel weak at the knees. There was a popping sound as something breakable broke in the distance. She ignored it as she focused on controlling herself and dealing with the problem in front of her.

"What do you want Beast Boy?" She bit.

His awkward tick kicked in as he rubbed the back of his head. She rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. "I just wanted to apologize." he muttered under his breath.

Her ears picked up his statement but she refused to let him get out of it that easily. "What? Speak up, freaks have a hard time hearing."

His ears dropped slightly and he adverted her gaze completely, "You're not a freak Raven." he whispered mostly to himself.

She let out a mixture of a scoff and a snort. "Whatever." she hissed as she moved back to close the door in his face. He reacted instantly stepping in front of it activating the sensors and stopping it in it's track. Her chest burned with annoyance as she attempted to push him out of the way, "Get out." she growled against his shirt.

"Raven." he whispered as he grabbed her wrists. She fought his touch immensely but to no avail. His strength had grown just as much as his height. "I'm sorry." he whined innocently. She shook her head and fought against his stubbornness.

"Stop it Beast Boy." she hissed as her powers seeped out causing yet another fragile nick-knack to break.

"No." he said sternly. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I was mad and-"

"I said get out." she said, her voice sounded more like a whimper and lacked the stern tone she was aiming for. She hated this, she hated showing him the emotions that she fought so desperately to hide. She felt weak, like her whole world was falling apart without her consent. Tears welled up in her eyes as her whole body fought against him.

 _Freak. Freak. Freak._

"Rae, please." he pleaded as he took a few steps forward forcing the two into her room. The door closed behind him and she could feel her stomach drop. She was cut off, cut off from her only escape. "I'm sorry."

Raven shook her head and a few unneeded tears escaped her emotional grasp. Once again she pulled against his grip in hopes he would release her but to no avail. "Garfield Logan, if you don't let me go so help me I will-"

"I'm not scared of you Raven." he whispered as his grip tightened on her fragile wrists. The goth cursed his persistence, it was always like this. If he thought he was right he would go to extreme extents to prove it. Or at least he did when it came to her.

"If you knew what was best for you, you would be." she managed to hiss as she felt her demonic emotion surface. Books and parchments were encased in black energy and began to orbit the two. Although loosing control she used the last amount of grip she had to keep the objects from hitting her annoying team mate. She could feel her body shake from frustration and her knuckles were white from her clenched fists. "You need to leave." she warned in a last ditch effort to scare him off.

"I'm not going anywhere until you listen to me." he said sternly. His grip loosened and she took the opportunity to slip from his grasp. A low whine escaped the green mans chest as she turned from him. "I didn't mean what I said. It was only out of anger and-"

"You meant it." she hissed to the wall. "I'm a freak. You know it, I know it, this whole goddamn city knows it. There's no hiding now." Mixed emotions were seeping through her grasp. Anger, sadness, timidity, fear, embarrassment all were raking havoc on her room. Candles melted, furniture cracked and anything that could break already did. It was chaos, but it proved her point in full.

 _Freak. Freak. Freak._

Beast Boy ducked as a book flew right past his ear. "You can't honestly believe that Rae. After all we've been through, how could you think something like that." his voice was calm considering she was near complete control loss. The goth couldn't fight the tears that begged to be seen and her hushed sobs erupted through her whole body.

His light touch pressed on her shoulder, her body reacted and pulled away from his touch. Finally she turned to face him, concern covered his face and his eyes held nothing but disrepair. "You just don't get it do you?" she bit as anger made it's ugly face known. "Look at this! Look around you!" she made a motion to the tornado that was now her room. Her eyes closed and once they opened again her violet irises were replaced with blood red. Anger, always her weak point. "Look at me Beast Boy!" she yelled as she threw back her hood, "I'm a freak of nature, never meant past fifteen, never meant to pledge this world for as long as I have. I have no future, no possible way to feel true happiness. No one want's to be with this, no one could ever want to show me anything other than sympathy! I am alone!"

Her words echoed against the walls of her room, as if taunting her. Hot tears still streamed down her face as her red eyes pierced into him. She could feel her body shaking as her chest heaved from the adrenaline that was pumping through her veins. In a way she felt foolish, she was suppose to be the cool calm and collected Titan. Never suppose to loose control like this, never suppose to show him this side of her. Her brain waited for him to walk out on her, just as all others did.

His mouth was gaped open and his head was tilted to once side. He didn't look scared her looked more confused, more shocked than anything. "Raven." he whispered as he moved closer to her, her body answered his attempt and backed away from him. He shook his head and let out a large sigh.

She opened her mouth to spit fire but was cut off by his strong arms as they wrapped around her small frame. The goth pushed against his chest in confusion but his grip only tightened. "You're wrong." his quiet voice whispered into her ears, "You aren't alone. You've never been alone."

Tears still streamed down her face as his words sunk in. Her anger died causing her to closer her eyes to allow her eyes to revert back to normal. The typhoon in her room began to drown down as things fell from the air and onto the floor. Raven's heart was hit with a rush of emotions and she found herself crying on the his green shoulder. Her body shook as the last of her emotions flowed though her, it was pathetic but inevitable.

 _Freak. Freak. Freak._

"Shhh, please stop crying." his smooth voice cooed into her ear, his had moved to her hand and he soon began to stroke her hair. "I'm sorry Raven. I'm so very sorry."

After a long moment the realization of what was happening sank into the young goth and she began to pull away, a small whine left his throat as he pulled her back to his chest forcibly. "Beast Boy-" she groaned with annoyance, "let me-" his lips crashed into hers before she was able to finish her form of protest.

He tasted like left over tofu and sugar and for some reason she found it completely intoxicating. Before her mind could protest her body reacted to him and forced her hands to his neck bringing him even closer. This simple action caused him to moan softly against her lips and pull her closer into him. With his arm around her waist he gently traced his tongue along her lips as if asking for permission to enter, which she gladly allowed.

Passion radiated through the two and Raven couldn't help herself from wanting more. More skin, more ecstasy, more Beast Boy. She pushed up his shirt exposing his perfect green torso, tracing her hands along his body she felt him shiver against her finger tips. A need took over her body, she needed to see his shirt on the floor. And what Raven needs she gets.

As the shirt hit her carpet, the green Titan let out a small sigh of satisfaction as his lips returned to hers. His hands fumbled with her cloak a few times but eventually he was able to remove it and allow it to drop over her shoulders. A smile crossed her face as the two began to walk back to her bed slowly. She didn't want to stop, no matter what her emotions were telling her. Maybe it was rash and rushed, but she felt as if she needed this. She needed him.

The two tumbled towards the bed and she found herself lying on her back with him hovering over her. His kisses trailed along her neck and to her collar bone. Her lungs demanded more air as her chest began to raise and fall at a steady pace. His tooth nicked her pale skin and she felt a trickle of blood fall down her neck.

"Garfield." she moaned as he moved down her body planting butterfly kisses on top of her leotard. Her mind wandered to places untouched, she wondered what it felt like to have him kiss her bare skin, to feel his gentle touch in places no one has ever dared to go. She wandered what it was like to actually _be_ with him. To be the main focus of his time and energy rather than all of those other girls, to be the one he slept with and shared him self with. "I've wanted this for so long." her soft confession surprised her, she hadn't meant to say it out loud. No matter how truthful it was. "I've wanted you to notice me."

As soon as the words left her mouth Beast Boy's body tensed up causing him to stop in his tracks. Her eyes shot open once she realized that he had paused his gift to her. Slowly he moved himself back to meet her gaze and she held her breath unsure what to expect. "Raven." he breathed. His hot breath flooded her face sending goose bumps onto her arms. "Is this real?"

"What?" she asked confused.

"Is this-" he paused running his hands through her hair gently and resting his palm on he cheek. "real? Or are you just saying these things because of what happened?"

Raven's eyes widened at the realization of what he had just asked. He wanted to know if she was acting out of self pity, if she was lowering herself just to feel his affection. Although it was stupid, she couldn't help but feel some what offended. If anyone was pretending it was him, not her. "Why would you ask that?" she bit out of anger as she pressed against his chest signaling for him to get up.

He responded by moving off of her torso and allowing her to sit up slightly. "I just wanted to make sure you wanted this Rae, I-"

"If anyone is to question if they want this it would be you." she hissed as she moved her body from underneath him. "You're the one who made their point known out there, and you don't think too highly of me. I mean-"

She was cut off once again by his lips. His hands made it to her face and he forced her to him. Once he pulled away her wore his toothy grin, "You don't ever have to question my feelings Raven." he whispered in a husky voice. "If I had it my way this would have happened a long time ago."

She couldn't help but feel competently content, like all of her previous worries were washed away leaving just the two. He was the cause of her loss of control so it was only right that he be the one to bring her back from the edge. "Well better late than never." she whispered gently.

He let out a light chuckle and shook his head, "Damn right." he whispered in response as he kissed her yet again. This time there was no stopping his progress and she soon found herself under his complete control.

Maybe she wasn't a freak, maybe all she really needed was for someone to remind her that she could be loved.

Maybe just maybe, all she needed was him.


End file.
